When was the last time you and your spouse actually played together?
Not “watched TV in the same room.” Not “ran errands side by side.” But laughed. Goofed off. Did something just for fun?

If you’re struggling to remember, you’re definitely not alone. For many couples, play slowly disappears underneath the weight of adulting — careers, parenting, bills, aging parents, laundry piles, and endless to-do lists.

But here’s the truth most couples overlook: Play is not a luxury in marriage — it’s essential.

Research strongly indicates play is the secret sauce to a strong marriage. According to the University of Denver’s Center for Marital and Family Studies, the amount of fun couples have together is one of the strongest predictors of long-term marital happiness.

Dr. Howard Markman, a leading relationship researcher, puts it simply: “The more you invest in fun and friendship and being there for your spouse, the happier the relationship will get over time.”

Let that sink in: fun equals fuel for your relationship. It’s not just about adding excitement. It’s about reigniting connection, building emotional intimacy, and creating positive memories that buffer you in the hard times.

Believe it or not there is science behind the importance of play in marriage. Organizations like the National Institute for Play (yes, it’s real!) have found that play increases emotional intimacy, creativity, and vitality, not just for individuals, but for couples too.

Play in marriage helps:

• Relieve stress and tension
• Boost communication and problem-solving
• Create shared laughter and inside jokes
• Strengthen emotional bonds
• Make your relationship feel lighter and more joyful

Play reminds you that your marriage isn’t just about coordinating life logistics — it’s about enjoying life together.

If you notice any of the following, your relationship might be due for a play tune-up:

• Conversations revolve only around responsibilities
• You’re more like roommates than romantic partners
• Laughter feels rare or forced
• You struggle to feel connected in day-to-day life
• Stress and routine dominate your interactions

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. The good news is, you can fix it!

4-Week “Play Challenge” for Couples: Reconnect Through Fun

Try this simple 4-week play challenge for married couples. No fancy date nights or big budgets required — just 30 minutes of undistracted fun, every other day.

Here are easy, playful couple activities to try:

Game Night Ideas:

• Uno, Scrabble, Catchphrase, or Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza
• Set a silly reward for the winner (like choosing dessert or a back massage)

Active Play:

• Go for a walk, run or bike ride, play disc golf or pickleball – if you are both highly competitive people avoid doing activities that will create tension between you.
• Have a spontaneous dance party in your kitchen

Creative Date Night Ideas:

• Cook a totally new recipe together (sushi, homemade pizza, or even a cooking challenge)
• Make a playlist of your favorite throwback songs and dance in your kitchen

Artsy & Fun:

• Paint portraits of each other
• Try a $10 “alphabet challenge” (A = Art supplies, B = Bowling, C = Coffee shop, etc.)

Nostalgia Nights:

• Pull up old home videos or photos and laugh at your younger selves
• Reminisce about your first date or trip and plan a mini version of it

Play Is How You Reconnect With Your Spouse

No, play in marriage doesn’t have to look like it did when you were dating. It can be goofy, relaxed, messy, or spontaneous. But it does need to exist — because fun is what keeps couples emotionally close when life gets intense.

Laughter creates emotional safety. Shared activities create bonding. And fun? It’s the forgotten love language that brings you back to each other.

So the real question is:

What will you do for fun together this week?